|
Home
Marriage
Coaching
Pre-Marriage
Wedding
Services
About Jim & Laura
Contact
Visit Our Store
Site Map
|
Intimacy
Part
One
Articles
|
Comments
If your
love life falls flat, check intimacy. In this
article I define intimacy as personal closeness
as opposed to sexual contact. Many sexual
problems develop when intimacy dries up; when
intimacy grows physical intimacy flows. So
let's work on closeness.
Intimacy works like
a key in a lock. Turn the key and your
relationship opens, ignore it and it shuts you out.
The safer you feel with someone the more
intimate the relationship. Think of a good
relationship, on a one to ten scale how safe do
you feel? Now think of a poor relationship.
How safe do you feel?
When the physical relationship suffers in a
marriage, pressure to be close grows and the
struggle to find emotional intimacy increases,
but pressure to be intimate never works if one
partner feels unsafe; the
secret to intimacy is safety.
Intimacy
involves safety. When you are intimate with
someone you freely reveal your innermost feelings,
thoughts, dreams, and hopes; you create a
bond and increase communication, but
what stops husbands and wives from sharing?
Sharing deep feelings can stir the real culprit
to intimacy -- fear. What if
you open up and they disrespect your feelings, laugh, brush them
off, or criticize you?
When you fear these
reactions, you retreat and guard your heart
because you feel unsafe. This is a good protection
strategy for you, but a poor one for the
relationship. So ask yourself if you fear
responses like rejection, ridicule, or
criticism? If you feel unsafe with your
spouse, the next step is to discover the source.
Intimacy
Part two. |
|
